On Contradicting Myself

I love life.

Well, not really. I wouldn’t mind an early trip to Heaven.

At least one would be free from all worries and drama and instead, be at eternal peace. Ah… Yes. I wouldn’t mind at all.

So, why do I love life?

Because, while I am here, I might as well, right?

I hate that thought. I read something today on “wholesomeness.”

Why do we always have to be on the lookout for happiness? Why do we always need to have a smile on our face? Why can’t we embrace the feelings we are feeling and accept them for what they are?

If you are sad, it does not hurt to mention that you are sad.

But, why the need to

Go after happiness?

I am glad I contradict myself at times. I learn. I learn and I apply and I change. I change my ways. Am I fickle? Maybe. But, I have my reasons, don’t I? It’s sad, though. It’s sad because you can’t explain those reasons every time. After a certain point, you feel as if you have lost the privilege to do so. And, as much as you would like to change your ways one more time, you risk being labelled “fickle.”

I think the same goes for my views on hypocrites. Maybe, I am not the one to judge, for even hypocrites may have their reasons. Reasons which led them to say one thing and then, do another. Because, hey, life happens. And, while life happened, they may have learned something. And, that something may have taught them that what they initially thought, was actually not true. So, maybe, that’s what led them to act contrary to their proclaimed words.

And, that’s why I love life.

Because, life teaches you so much.

It’s sad, though. Because, you have to learn. You aren’t given these life lessons in a book. Nope. You have to actually go through life to learn certain things and only then, can you apply those lessons. I would hope that those lessons manifest at the right times. Of course, contrary to our beliefs, they always do. But, just not in the forms or at the times we would have hoped. Which is again, sad.

Ah, well. Life’s like that.


What’s your take?



15 thoughts on “On Contradicting Myself

  1. Life just is. The more you try understanding it, the more confunded you become. I’ve long given up try to unearth the mystery life is. But it does get the good of me at times. I hate it when it gets me low and I wish then that it was different. But alas. Life just is. One can’t change it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Life is exactly what you do with it – there is no other way to it. It is always, to some extent, in our control – because the choices we make are always in our control. Spend more time in the things you love 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is. Though, choices can be confusing and difficult to make. And, it’s the confusion that gets me.
      But, thank you, Prajakta. I’ll do my best to make time for things I enjoy. First, I’ll have to figure out what exactly it is that I love doing. 😅 Then again, it never features as a priority, but I guess I should make it one. By the by, I recently went on a treasure hunt (probably for the first time in my life, I think). That was definitely fun. 😄 Wish we could take more off days like those.


  3. Excellent way to put this into perspective … this reminded me few lines of Ghalib… when he said ” maut se pehle aadmi gham se nijat paye kyun” this questions the very concept of this post… superbly penned
    Stay safe !!

    Liked by 1 person

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